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traumatic sis of mine

Saturday, August 26, 2006

oh hello pple.. hmm... its been a reali reali long time since i update huh.. hmm.. been reali bz.. well.. i noe wum of u should be bored of hearing the same old reason of my bz-ness... but den again.. its true.......

hmm.. my elder sis was hospitalized... she had to go thru an operation.. hmm.. wat operation i shall not even mention.. hahaha.... niwaes.. she was admitted from the A&E on 21 of august... i came straight from skool.. was quite worried for her though... even though i kinda of noe tat it was a minor op.. but still.... she is my sis... and op... juz sound scary.. haha.. reached hosp at abt 5 plus... waited for the admittion procedure and the check up tingy... till abt 9 plus... warded to athe ward tat i have worked b4.. haha.. and saw sumone... hahahaha... niwaes..left the hosp only abt 11 plus... waited for the whole ting 2 settle.. sent aidil off till the main entrance... haha.... thankz aidil.. b4 tat both of us grabbed a sandwich to share and a drink for ourselves.. haha.. he bought 4 me..thankz... niwaes.. we sat and shared..was so hungry.. haven ate aniting since morning... wen i tot i saw my parents... i quickly asked him to leave.. haha.. i did not want my parents to see the 2 of us sitting together.. haha.. the whole tingy will be very complicated... den i ran up stairs.. haha.. and he went off..
den after abt 2 hours waiting for my parents... they reached and signed the form for the op.. and so did my sis.. haha.. she was so scared... i reali felt like sleeping wif my sis overnite.. bt i could not... dun tink it was possible though.. reached home at abt 12 plus... ate a bit and den went to bed..

den the next dae woke up early.. to visit my sis.. she went for op at 6am.. so i have decided to skip all my lec and visited her.. reached there at abt 10 plus.. could not go in actually.. but asked the cleck ar... haha.. reached there only got a scolding from my sis.. saying i was late.. haiz.. niwaes.. stayed wif her all the way till she was discharge.. except for lunch time.. haha.. me and aidil went down for lunch.. shared a plate of indian rojak.. while my sis was upstairs wif my aunt.. haha.. den i bathe my sis b4 her discharge... settled her discharge.. took a cab home together wif aidil.. den i rushed to skool..took the bus to inter wif aidil.. and waited for 72... and idiotically the queue was super damn long!!haha.. he waited till the bus came... and he went off after i borded the bus.. haha.. wen i reached skool... the class went in oreadi.. i was quite surprise by my class's reaction wen they saw me.. like they have not seen me for a long time.. haha.. quite surprising.. haha.. niwaes.. after tat den i found out tat the whole class actually noes tat i was in the hospital wif my sis.. no wonder tat reaction.. haha..

niwaes.. after tat whole tingy.. i was tinking.. wat will happen if i faint in the middle of a class?? i mean i noe it looks horrible... but all i wanna noe is wat will be the class's reaction? stare at me and say... "tis gal is a trouble maker...' or..'tis gerl is sooo irritating.. a nuisance' or wat?? hmm.... still wondering.......................................

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 10:07 PM

????????

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

hey there people.. hmm... its been a while since i updated... sowie... reali bz... hmm.. tis is our last yr.. so i guess we all will be reali bz..

hmm.. on 9 august was national dae.. haha... i was honoured enuff to go to the national stadium... all thanks to jo and melvyn.. hmm.. he got 2 tix.. christ was not free.. so she asked me along... haha.. was reali reali fun.. especially wif crazy joanna.. haha... it was fun... the best was the fireworks.. haha.. tat's the usual ting pple alwayz look out for during the national day celebration.. well... after tat was suppose to hang out wif them and have dinner together.. but den hor.... it was already late.. so i guess i have to give it a miss.. den went to meet my sis and we went home together... haha...

on 12 august... went out wif them again.. jo.. yn and jh... went to watch fireworks.. hmm.. reached there at abt 5 plus 6... was a bit early.. but den waited for the rest... waited for 1 hour plus!!!!!!! jh was late.. and so was jo.. haiz... i hate waiting alone... i dun mind waiting if u are late... but i need sumone wif me... as long as my fren or frens are ard.. i dun mind liao... but i had to wait alone... waiting for them.. haiz.. niwaes...

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 4:27 PM

alone and invinsible

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

i feel so alone...

so invinsible.....

as if i am transparent...

and tat no one actually noes me...

wat had happened to jihan?

does anione out there noe??

haiz...

there is tis group of pple....

i reali feel tat they are hapi without me around...

and wen i am ard..

i feel like they are being force to actually tok to me..

i hate tat feeling and dun like being treated tat way..

i rather not being tok to..

rather den being frced to tok to...

and wen i am at home...

i feel soo lonely...

i will alwayz be in my rm or in front of tis comp...

my mum and dad are bz...

my elder sis bz wif her stuff...

she alwayz tell me abt her stuff...

her sadness and hapiness..

i am hapi for her...

esp wen she is reali reali hapi... and i understand her....

but wen i wan to tell her wat is in my heart..

she will listen.. but den does not pay attention tat much..

and tat most of the time..

i will end up being blamed..

blamed for wat i did not do..

den where am i suppose to pour our wat is in my heart?

sometimes sadness and anger keeps on adding...

sumtimes diff to even breathe...

the only ting i can afford to do is to cry...

by doing so..

i am making myself relieve..

making me breathe a bit better...

but it does not remove aniting..............

everything is juz burried inside me....

haiz................

to all my frenz out there........

i am sooooo sowie if i ever hurt u all...

and irritate ani one of u...

its juz tat sumtimes i rather be alone and not tok...

tat's wen i am at the verge of bursting out and needs time to juz chill...

i apologise sincerely........ :(

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 10:54 PM