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Everything'S OVER!!!!!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006

i dun noe if i am doing the right ting... but wat i noe is tat i have done it and tat i will not turn back and regret.... once i have spitted... i will not lick it back.. i have to promise myself to stand wif tis saying... coz i have alwayz done tat.. spitted and den licked back.. coz i have alwayz tot tat i will have a 2nd chance.. but i was wrong...

hmm.. gathered all my courage yesterdae and wrote him a 2 page long letter... 1423 words in total.....i mean if he does not wan to make ani move.. den i guess i will.. i mean i said sumting.. and he reacted drastically... well.. i might be in the wrong to call him a 'stalker' but i mean wat i said always has a reason.. and i have stated the reasons in tat letter.. i hope he understand.. i wrote from the begginning.. from how we met.. and how i had feelings for him and how we both became veryu close... and how we both had feelings for each other... it continues till the period we did not reali contact each other... which was for abt a few daes.. or mayb a week.. and how i found out tat he is attatched back wif his ex.. and how i feel.. reali betrayed... and tat later after a few weeks or so.. or maybe 1 or 2 months he contact me back... everything was out on tat letter.. i mean i juz have to let out wat was in my heart.. i dun noe if it hurts him.. but honestly.. i dun care animore.. coz i tink i have cared for him for very long... cared abt him and his feelings.. coz i sayang him too deeply tat i dun wan to eva hurt his feelings.. but now, i guess i have to tink abt myself too.. since he nvr spare his thoughts for me.. i guess??? he is reali like chips more cookies....now have.. den gone.. (malay saying..kejap ader.. kejap takde..) hmm.. why do all tis have to happen to me? i mean why am i soo stoopid to actually love and care for him so much.. wen i actually get noting in return... not tat i am asking for but at least... haizzzz...

i actually begged him to forget me.. and to delete me froom his contact... and to nvr contact me eva again.. coz it was hard for me to forget him.. and wen he appear back... i tned to miz him.. and remember him.. tis is me..the stoopid, useless and weak jihan.. but wat can i do? tat's y i begged him at the last paragraph of the letter.. juz to forget me.. end all tat we had.. if we eva had aniting... i dun wan to have sleepless nite animore.. i dun wan to wake up the next dae wif swollen eyes... and i dun wan to cry everytime i tink abt the past.. i dun wan to have ani more false hopes... and i wan to wake up from my dream.. a bad dream tat i will nvr forget.. i hope i will and tat i can do wat i wanna do.. i am asking him to do one ting... forget me.. i juz wanna be able to smile again.. and be hapi... tat's all.. oh GOD.. plz give me the courage to overcome my fears and sadness... i wanna live my teenage life to the fullest.. plz...

well.. gtg now.. hope i will update u guys soon.. take carez pple...

...words for the dae...
guys are nothing to us....
they are juz problems and sadness...
so wen u face a problem wif them..
or u are sad coz by them...
dun be shocked....
*p.s. taken from my frenz frenster... hehe.. take carez pple..


Written By Nurjihan, 10:52 PM