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i am tired.....

Saturday, April 29, 2006

hey there people.. hmm.. its been exactly 10 daes since i blogged.. hmm.. guess i am bz huh... tis week started attatchment... haiz.. i am soo tired.. it feels tat tis time round's attatchment is more bz... only 4 student nurses.. no ITE nurses.. well.. its ok actually... auditing is also going on.. so.. its double the werk... everythings suppose to be perfect.. afternoon was ok.. quite bz.. till i forgot to go for break.. haha.. coz we had to make our rounds to change the patients.. u noe wat i mean pple.. den i went half an hour late.... at 6.30.. supposedly.. no breaks after 7.. so dun care if u are bz or not.. u have to go for ur break.. and if u go late.. den ur prob.. wat eva man tis ward... cannot bluff our timing.. coz we had to sign in and out even for break......... funny rite?? wateva lah... den...mornings are even more bz... alwayz have shorter breaks... muz get use to it lah... coz wen i pass out later.. i will definitly have short breaks too... coz patients come first to me..seriously... well.. guess some staff nurses juz dun appreciate tat...

well... nowadays i juz feel like letting out wat i tink.. wat i am unhappy abt and wat irritates and makes me sad... dun noe why.,. but ya.... and my mum is super sensitive lately... i honestly hate it.. well.. i hope tis season will pass soon... i feel like letting all tat is in my heart out manz.. but unfortunately i juz can't..

well.. guess i better end here for now.. tired coz juz now went to my bro house.. haha... had a great time there.. even though it was fer a short while.. and guess wat.. i took tis pic.. sooo cute.. my nephew... haha... cute rite..

haha.. tis is me trying to bottle feed my nephew... haha.. i like the way he stares at me.. so cute and adorable.. haha...

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 9:40 PM

Everything'S OVER!!!!!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

i dun noe if i am doing the right ting... but wat i noe is tat i have done it and tat i will not turn back and regret.... once i have spitted... i will not lick it back.. i have to promise myself to stand wif tis saying... coz i have alwayz done tat.. spitted and den licked back.. coz i have alwayz tot tat i will have a 2nd chance.. but i was wrong...

hmm.. gathered all my courage yesterdae and wrote him a 2 page long letter... 1423 words in total.....i mean if he does not wan to make ani move.. den i guess i will.. i mean i said sumting.. and he reacted drastically... well.. i might be in the wrong to call him a 'stalker' but i mean wat i said always has a reason.. and i have stated the reasons in tat letter.. i hope he understand.. i wrote from the begginning.. from how we met.. and how i had feelings for him and how we both became veryu close... and how we both had feelings for each other... it continues till the period we did not reali contact each other... which was for abt a few daes.. or mayb a week.. and how i found out tat he is attatched back wif his ex.. and how i feel.. reali betrayed... and tat later after a few weeks or so.. or maybe 1 or 2 months he contact me back... everything was out on tat letter.. i mean i juz have to let out wat was in my heart.. i dun noe if it hurts him.. but honestly.. i dun care animore.. coz i tink i have cared for him for very long... cared abt him and his feelings.. coz i sayang him too deeply tat i dun wan to eva hurt his feelings.. but now, i guess i have to tink abt myself too.. since he nvr spare his thoughts for me.. i guess??? he is reali like chips more cookies....now have.. den gone.. (malay saying..kejap ader.. kejap takde..) hmm.. why do all tis have to happen to me? i mean why am i soo stoopid to actually love and care for him so much.. wen i actually get noting in return... not tat i am asking for but at least... haizzzz...

i actually begged him to forget me.. and to delete me froom his contact... and to nvr contact me eva again.. coz it was hard for me to forget him.. and wen he appear back... i tned to miz him.. and remember him.. tis is me..the stoopid, useless and weak jihan.. but wat can i do? tat's y i begged him at the last paragraph of the letter.. juz to forget me.. end all tat we had.. if we eva had aniting... i dun wan to have sleepless nite animore.. i dun wan to wake up the next dae wif swollen eyes... and i dun wan to cry everytime i tink abt the past.. i dun wan to have ani more false hopes... and i wan to wake up from my dream.. a bad dream tat i will nvr forget.. i hope i will and tat i can do wat i wanna do.. i am asking him to do one ting... forget me.. i juz wanna be able to smile again.. and be hapi... tat's all.. oh GOD.. plz give me the courage to overcome my fears and sadness... i wanna live my teenage life to the fullest.. plz...

well.. gtg now.. hope i will update u guys soon.. take carez pple...

...words for the dae...

guys are nothing to us....

they are juz problems and sadness...

so wen u face a problem wif them..

or u are sad coz by them...

dun be shocked....

*p.s. taken from my frenz frenster... hehe.. take carez pple..

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 10:52 PM

i am lost........

i dun noe why i am here but all i noe is tat i am here.. i feel like blogging abt wat had happened lately... but i dun have the mood i guess...so i tink i better leave not.. sowie..

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 1:28 AM

it was such a tiring dae!!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

oh gosh.. my legs are dropping out from its joints... it is screaming for help.. it is sooo wanting to rest.. badly... haiz.. toidae is my first dae at werk.. and its soo tiring.. haiz.. hope i can endure it till sundae.. guess i have to get use to erking life again.. its been a while since i werk so i suppose my body is juz not use to it.. hehe.. my hands got tear here and there.. blisters a bit... hmm.. quite tough huh tis job.. well.. actually i juz got home.. and i have to go and bathe and get my sleep... tomorrow another 13 hours at werk... phew............... ok pple.. sowie but gtg now.. my heads ache oreadi... will update u all again.. take carez...

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 11:04 PM

A SHOCKING ExPeRiEnCe!!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

well3... hello there people... hmm.... how are u all? hope tat u all are fine.. hmm.. todae is mondae.. offically the first dae of my break.. not inclusive of the previous sat and sun.. reali want to go out badly.. dun noe where my destination is but ya.. i juz wanna go out.. dun wan stay at home.. wanna escape from my mum.. hehe.. i noe i am bad.. sowie lah.. but can't help it lah... hmm.. aside from tat bad reason of mine.. i oso wan to have fun and relax... coz its been reali reali long since i go out and enjoy myself.. trust my guys.. i reali mean LONG.. (well tat doesn't include the time wen me and my frenz went out for ice skating.. remember my blog? my lost bdae celebration?) skool's been bz... no time for fun..

my cuzin is also having her break week.. so its juz nice huh... we will be gg out together.. enjoy ourselves... but den................ my mum said.." sitting at home is better jihan.. dun go out.. waste time.. its not as if u have money..." i was like????? she said it will be more useful if i stayed at home and clean my room... do sumting useful... den she said my cuzin oso have to clean her house... how on earth does she noes?? haiz... she reali does not allow me to go aniwhere manz.. ish... den cannot do anithing.... but still went out for a while wif my elder sis.. went to the police post.. (NPP) to report on my stooooopid ex boss tat still owes me money.. den the police told us to go straight to the MOM.. haiz... den we took a bus down to the interchange.. went to buy some stuff... den my sis bought tea.. and we ended up at a void deck... while toking to her.. the both of us suddenly heard a loud sound.. we den went and look wat i saw was reali unbelievable... i could not believe my very own eyes..

i saw sumone lying on the floor... at the edge of the pathway... she tried to commit sucide.. and was believed to have jumped down from the 5th floor.. since the 5th floor's window was open.. she was reali pale... reali reali pale.. my elder sis was reali panic..she was like pulling my sleeve.. asking if i could do sumting.. since i am a nurse.. but i guess she forgot tat i am a STUDENT nurse.. she was soo panicky.. haiz.. she can nvr be a paramedic.. i tried to stay calm coz i have to from now on.. my ambition is to be a paramedic.. :) some pple might juz be laughing out there huh.. its ok.. i shall prove it to u all if GOD allows me to.. hmm..well.. back to tat poor women.. a police officer came to us standing nearby.. asking if ani of us saw wat happened.. tis boi.. i guess abt 11 yrs old? he said.. tat he saw the women on the top of the air con (the one outside ur room window...) den she jumped down... den i stared at her... hoping tat she was still moving.. coz there was no blood ard... den later she moved her arm... i was a bit hapi... hapi for the fact tat she was still alive lah... not for the fact tat she jumped down.. niwaes... her face was reali pale.. den wen the police came.. tok to her.. she mover.. in fact she wanted to stand up.. but she was moaning in pain.. den wen the ambulance came.. they turned her.. oh.. tat was wen i realised tat there was blood.. not much but a bit... due to her broken rt arm.. her rt arm was practically under her body.. and obviously it is broken.. they cut her shirt.. made it into an arm sling.. den put the ting over her neck.. to protect it if there is any neck injury.. den the paramedic used sumting to carry her.. i have no idea war tat ting was.. they used it to carry her onto the stretcher... her legs and hands were all very pale.. haiz.. i pity her manz... wish her all the best.. hopefully she will live peacefully... well.. gtg now.. hmm.. update u all again soon.. take carez...

~WORDS FOR THE DAE~

in life.. you only have 2 breathes...

one is in and the other is out..

breathe in all the fresh air...

and breathe out the polluted ones..

live life to the fullest...

coz u might never know...

if the breathe u are taking...

is ur last one eva...

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 4:46 PM

EXAMS ARE OVER!!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

hey there people.. at last exams are over.. phew... but dun noe if i am suppose to be relieve yet.. exams are over but results are not out yet.. haiz.. tis is another issue tat worries me.. hmm.. let's juz wait for the sms from the skool..

now having my 2 weeks break... b4 my 2 months attatchment... cannot wait for my KKH attatchment... sooo impatience to see the cute babies.... hehehe... oh well.. juz wiat lah huh..

i dun noe if i am going to enjoy the 2 ws holidaes tat i am having now.. all my frenz are like looking foward for tis holidaes.. but me? i dun noe.. my holidaes started wif my mum nagging... oh GOD ..... plz let me survive tis 2 weeks of break... haiz.. y do my mum not understand me? why does she have to nag? y do most mum nag? y? y? i have yet found an answer... if i do the good things for her... she rarely sees them.. but when i do a small mistake.. she will make a big fuss out of it... and oh ya.. she will also bring back the past.. my mistakes in the past.. not caring if it is related to my mistake or not.. tat's bad huh? haiz... wish she could reali undestand me.. sumtimes i juz feel like gg out.. and not staying at home.. cannot tolerate my mum sumtimes.. but gg out needs money.. and tat i dun have too.. now i am stuck at home... and have to tolerate my mum's lecturing... argh!!

next week on wed.. to sun.. got job at expo... phew.. tat saves me.. even for only a week.. but it is better den nothing manz.. soo looking forward to it.. u all are welcome okiez.. haha.. hmm.. guess i have to go now.. will update u guys soon.. coz my dad is beside me now.. dun wan him to see me blog abt his wife huh... later i will get lecturing from him oso... take carez pple.. bubbyez.. and to all my NYP nursing students.. have a great break.. and to those who have attatchment.. enjoy okiez..

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 7:13 PM