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*...*...*JoUrNaL 15*...*...*

Thursday, June 09, 2005

hey there pple....
how are all of you?
hope you are fine....
and fer those pple who visited my blog...
sowie no entries fer the last few daes...
busy wif my attatchment lah...

well... lots of tings i wanna write abt actually....
but no time...
and since now is my break week.... i tink i wanna write it out...
there is lots.. and i reali mean ALOT.....
my heart is filled wif sadness...

ok...well..... i got to noe tis guy thru my cuzin...
she said tat the guy is very excited to get to noe me...
and i am like wondering... he does not even noe me... y the rush to noe me..
so... the moment he got my number... he msged me..
asking me if it is ok fer us to get to noe each other...
well.. i said..y not... it is not wrong lah..
so from tat msg... he called me..
we communicated thru calls...
he called me and we chat everydae..at least once...
wen i am at werk.. he will call me during my break... and we chat...
den one nite.. he told me he wanna meet me after my werk...
as in the next dae lah....
so i told him.. y the rush... i am nervous....
he said dun worry... he juz wanna meet me...
he begged and begged...
i can still remember his words...
"plz jihan...plz.plz...pretti plz...pretti plz...plz jihan..."
well... i told him ok lah...
well he gave me lots of hopes manz... so i say ok lah..
but he wanna meet me in my uniform...
i said no lah... plz... i wanna wear my scarf and home clothes...
so he say ok lah...
i was excited to meet him... but i got reali nervous...
the next dae at werk... i was tinking of him all dae....
tinking wat he will say wen he meet me...
u all should understand wat i mean wen i say me rite?
i am scared he tinks tat i am too fat and ugly fer him...
but i oreadi told him tat i am fat... and he said its ok coz he is fat too...
hahahahahaha....
den he called me... we were discussing where and wat time to meet...
so we planned to meet at east point BK at 4...
den.. my mum msged me.. saying tat my dad will pick me up from werk at 3....
i was like SHIT......
i am supposed to meet him...
HOW??????????????????/
i was so stressed......
den i called my mum and told her i planned to meet my fren oreadi..
she sound like sad.. and said nvr mind lor...
i felt bad... but i made a promise oreadi...
so i quickly bathed after werk... and got dress...
took a shuttle bus there wif my frenz...
i was stucked at the bus stop fer abt 10 minutes...
i did not wan to go...
i was very nervous... very very nervous...
my heart was beating reali fast...
den at last my fren told me juz go... since we are oreadi here....
den i walked but turned back... it happened abt 5 times...
b4 i reali walked and walked continuously wifout turning back to my frenz...
den wen i reach there... i called him.. and asked if he was there oreadi...
he told me to turn..... coz he is behind sitting near the entrance of the BK...
i could not see... and asked him to come to me instead...
hung up the phone and called my fren... told her so far i am ok...
and tat if i needed help... i will call her... and the rest lah...
den i met him... and we sat down and tok...
but moved into BK as it was quite hot outside...
he bought me a drink... and we drank and chat at the same time...
well... we did not noe where to go from there...
so we decided to walk around the eastpoint...
but as you all noe... east point is a boring place... noting much there...
so he asked me where i wanna go...
i dun noe... it was up to him... but neither could he make up his mind...
so he hang ard outside smoking...
and i told him lah... since he is werking at nite later....
i ask if he wanna catch some sleep first...
he said ok.. y not...
well tat was not the answer i expected honestly...
i was expecting sum ting like...
its ok.. y not i bring u sum where.... or sumting like tat lah...
argh......... nvr mind lah...
i guess he needed the sleep... so he will not be tired at nite while werking
so.. he sent me to the bus stop and waited fer the bus to come....
and honestly... i did not expect him to do tat....
i expected him to sent me home....
ON HIS BIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but it did not happen tat way......ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nvr mind lah... at least he was sweet enuff to wait fer my bus to come...
den after tat rite...... i received a text msg from him..
me to describe one word abt him...
and guess wat.....
tat was the last msg he ever sent me...
no more calls or msg from him....
honestly i was hurt... if u are a human being... u will be hurt too manz...
he changed drastically after we meet....
i noe... mayb i looked ugly and fat and scary to him...
at least he dun have to avoid me like tat u noe...
it reali hurts me....
he bastard me juz like tat... juz by looking at me once... he ignored me...
hey... all i am asking fer is at least look at my heart....
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
den after my cuzin tok to him rite...
he msg me... telling me tat he is sori coz he nvr reply to my msges....
den i replied someting harsh...
"u still remember me? i tot u fergot me oreadi..."
tat was wat i replied... but sowie lah...
tat is not me actually...
but i have to coz of wat he did lor...
he asked fer it...
so i gave it to him...
den there was one msg he sent me... tat made me hurt
reali hurt...
well in the msg... he wrote someting like tis...
"well jihan.. sowie to make u sad.. we are juz frenz wat.. juz ordinary frenz.."
tat word...ORDINARY is reali disturbing to me...
all the hopes he gave me b4... went down the drain juz like tat....
y are guys like tis?
they dun understand galz huh...
galz are fragile manz...
the way the hurt us and break our heart is as easy as saying ABC huh...
niwaes... tis is all i wanna say todae...
have to go oreadi...
so sowie...
take carez pple...
smilez alwayz...

*i noe tat i have to mirror my self b4 i could love you... all i am asking fer from you is tat at least give me a chance to love you... and i promise tat i will prove you my love..............................*

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 5:01 PM

*...*...*JoUrNaL 14*...*...*

Thursday, June 02, 2005

hey there people...
sowie long time no blog..
busy at the hospital lah...
and very tired too...
haiz...
today i decided to juz blog abt quotes...
so.. here goes my quotes.... enjoy yar people...

tis goes especially to my buddy and frenz..
*standing by.. all the way..
here to help you thru your day..
holding you up wen you were weak...
helping you find wat is it you seek..
catching your tears wen you cry....
pulling you thru wen the tide is high...
absorbing your voice wen you talk...
standing by you wen you learn to walk...
juz being there thru thick and thin...
all juz to say....
'YOU ARE MY FREN....'*

*it hurts to love someone and not to be loved in return......
but wat is more painful is to love some1 & nvr find the courage to let tat person noe how u feel*

*a sad ting in life is wen you meet someone who means a lot to you....
only to find out in the end tat it was nvr meant to be and you juz have to let it GO......*

*it's true tat we dun noe wat we've got until we lose it...
but it is also true tat we dun noe wat we've been missing until it arrives...*

*dream wat you wan to dream...
go where you wanna go...
be wat you wanna be...
becoz you have only one life and one chance to doall the tings you wan to...*

*alwayz put yourself in other's shoes...
if you feel tat it hurts you...
it probably hurts the person too....*

*love begins wif a smile...grows wif a kiss...ends wif a tear....*

*wen you were born...you were crying....and everyone around you is smiling...
live your life so tat wen you die.... you're the one smiling...
and everyone around you is crying....*

*it is enuff tat i am a value to at least somebody...TODAY'

*there is onli one happpiness in life... to love and to be loved.....
to love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides...*

*i tink of you each morning...and dream of you each nite...
i tink of your arms being around me and cannot express my delight...*

*i wrote your name in the sky...but the wind blew it away...
i wrote your name in the sand...but the waves washed it away...
i wrote your name in my heart... and forever it will stay...*

*if you love someone... TELL.....
don't be afraid to express yourself...
reach out and tell someone wat he/she means to you...
becoz wen you decide tat it is the right time...
it might be too late....:'(*

*dun go for looks.... they can be deceive...
dun go for wealth... even tat fades away...
go for someone who makes you smile...
becoz it takes only a smile to make a dark seem bright.....*

smilez alwayz guys.... take carez...
hope you all like these quotes huh....
bubbyez... ^_^

Written By Nurjihan,♥ 8:18 PM

*...*...*JoUrNaL 15*...*...*

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Written by Nurjihan,♥ 5:01 PM

*...*...*JoUrNaL 14*...*...*

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Written by Nurjihan,♥ 8:18 PM