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*...*...*Me aGaIn*...*...*
Saturday, April 23, 2005
hey there... it's been quite a while since i blogged in... have been stressed lately... maybe tat's y i get angry and emotional easily... haiz...
yesterday... went out wif my sec skool frenz... at last i could get out of my house... met them and went for religious class... den after tat... we went for our lunch... at LJS.... sat there for abt 1 and 1/2 hours.... we ate and chat at the same time.... den... tired of sitting... we walked around TM and CS... we didn't reali looked inside the shope...coz we were so engrossed in our talking... haha.. den... we didn't noe where to go coz we still have some more chatting to do... we had lots of updating of ourselves to do... since we have not for quite a long time... den after tat... one of them.. fasha... she had to go home...so..it is onli left with the 3 of us... decided to go to the nearest mosque..MASJID DARUL GHUFRAN to pray... waited for MARGHRIB...den we headed to the BK... bought ourselves each a drink..(me and my barley..hehe..) guess we are all tired of talking till we go thirsty.. hahahkz.. chatted and chatted.... one of them... suriani... she was sharing abt tis guy...they were both more den frenz... but den the guy told her tat it is better if they both remain as frenz... dun noe y... but she said tat the guy needs time...and tat he is stressed... haiz... wen she mention abt love... i get reali sad... now to me... the word LOVE..... is linked to DANGER
dun ask me y... she looked sad.. so i asked her y.... she said tat she could not forget the sweet memories they had together.... i still remember wat the other fren told me...whom is firah... she said tat...'MEMORIES ARE MEANT TO BE KEPT' but i asked y..... wat if the memories are very sweet yet it hurts if you have to keep it.... she told me tat... the decision lies in our hands.... if you tink you can bear the pain..and you dun wanna forget the memories... den keep it.. if you cannot.. den juz forget it...
till today... i am in a dilemma.... shold i keep those memories... those sweet memories... or should i juz forget abt it... but it is not easy for me to juz forget it juz like saying ABC.... but if i keep those memories.... it juz hurts me if i remember abt it... how?? how??
the sadness abt the topic is still in me... my heart beats reali fast... and tat it reali feels heavy... till i reach home... i juz kept quiet all the way... dun feel like talking... den wen i reach home... my sec 2 sis... whom have been rude to me.....alwayz...... started mumbling...nagging...abt me using the comp... y muz she find fault in me... all day... it was quiet..not hearing her voice...not fighting and arguing wif her... and the moment i reach home... she starts again..... ARGH...... i hate it ok...
i tink tat i have been stupid enough to be very kind hearted and being so good...and now she have stepped on my head... wen i am using the comp... she said tat she wanna use it in 5 minutes time... ok..i gave way to her... but wen it comes to her turn using the comp.. and i wanna use it... she will not allow... she will give me a straight answer at my face...'NO'.... and wen i say i am using it in 5 minutes... guess wat... she answered...'SO WAT... I WANNA USE THE COMP FOR ANOTHER 10 HOURS.....' i feel like i am a stupid sis and tat i have been fooled by her.... wat the shit man.... i cannot stand her anymore...... seriously.... am i being too kind...... am i being too stupid...(eh.. mayb i am already stupid..) wat am i supposed to do..... tat dae...(21/04/2005)..my elder sis and youngest sis argued or something lah... all i noe is tat i did not wanna interfere... and i did not wan any scolding as well.... so i went inside my room..(which is the safest and comfortable place especially wen i am down) had my dinner there and watched the TV.... all i noe is tat my mum were already shouting and scolding outside... i realli did not wan to interupt or wat... den.. my younger sis..the sec 2 one...came and asked me to get out..bear in mind tat is my room... i said i did not want...you all go and settle wif mum lah.. i dun noe anyting... guess wat happened next... she said'ENGKAU KLUAR SKARANK.. AKU CKP KLUAR KLUAR LAH....' rude rite... den the next moment... my mum went inside my room... started scolding me... wat did i do??? only god noes... haiz... i got scolding for notin... and my dinner... i didn't finish it.. appetite gone... den i msg my buddy..told him wat happened... he called me.. and consoled me... i feel so embarrased for the fact tat i was crying while talking to him.... haiz..... he is alwayz there for me... thanks so much.... appreciate it lots...
today...(23/04/2005) i am reali quite the whole dae.... i dun talk... and guess wat... i am also being treated as if i am invisible.... haha funny rite.... they all wanna leave the house... they did not even say a single ting to me.... i cannot force them to... but at the mostthey could do is say..'I AM GOING OUT'.... is tat difficult to say.... i can actually count how many words i said today.... haha... if i remain like tis the whole of next 2 weeks... i will be nuts...
got to go liaoz... hope you guys will pray for me tat i will not go nuts at home... and i reali cannot wait for my attatchment to come.. at least i wun see my sis.... see ya ard.. bubbyez
Written By Nurjihan,♥ 7:36 PM
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*...*...*Me aGaIn*...*...*
Saturday, April 23, 2005
hey there... it's been quite a while since i blogged in... have been stressed lately... maybe tat's y i get angry and emotional easily... haiz...
yesterday... went out wif my sec skool frenz... at last i could get out of my house... met them and went for religious class... den after tat... we went for our lunch... at LJS.... sat there for abt 1 and 1/2 hours.... we ate and chat at the same time.... den... tired of sitting... we walked around TM and CS... we didn't reali looked inside the shope...coz we were so engrossed in our talking... haha.. den... we didn't noe where to go coz we still have some more chatting to do... we had lots of updating of ourselves to do... since we have not for quite a long time... den after tat... one of them.. fasha... she had to go home...so..it is onli left with the 3 of us... decided to go to the nearest mosque..MASJID DARUL GHUFRAN to pray... waited for MARGHRIB...den we headed to the BK... bought ourselves each a drink..(me and my barley..hehe..) guess we are all tired of talking till we go thirsty.. hahahkz.. chatted and chatted.... one of them... suriani... she was sharing abt tis guy...they were both more den frenz... but den the guy told her tat it is better if they both remain as frenz... dun noe y... but she said tat the guy needs time...and tat he is stressed... haiz... wen she mention abt love... i get reali sad... now to me... the word LOVE..... is linked to DANGER
dun ask me y... she looked sad.. so i asked her y.... she said tat she could not forget the sweet memories they had together.... i still remember wat the other fren told me...whom is firah... she said tat...'MEMORIES ARE MEANT TO BE KEPT' but i asked y..... wat if the memories are very sweet yet it hurts if you have to keep it.... she told me tat... the decision lies in our hands.... if you tink you can bear the pain..and you dun wanna forget the memories... den keep it.. if you cannot.. den juz forget it...
till today... i am in a dilemma.... shold i keep those memories... those sweet memories... or should i juz forget abt it... but it is not easy for me to juz forget it juz like saying ABC.... but if i keep those memories.... it juz hurts me if i remember abt it... how?? how??
the sadness abt the topic is still in me... my heart beats reali fast... and tat it reali feels heavy... till i reach home... i juz kept quiet all the way... dun feel like talking... den wen i reach home... my sec 2 sis... whom have been rude to me.....alwayz...... started mumbling...nagging...abt me using the comp... y muz she find fault in me... all day... it was quiet..not hearing her voice...not fighting and arguing wif her... and the moment i reach home... she starts again..... ARGH...... i hate it ok...
i tink tat i have been stupid enough to be very kind hearted and being so good...and now she have stepped on my head... wen i am using the comp... she said tat she wanna use it in 5 minutes time... ok..i gave way to her... but wen it comes to her turn using the comp.. and i wanna use it... she will not allow... she will give me a straight answer at my face...'NO'.... and wen i say i am using it in 5 minutes... guess wat... she answered...'SO WAT... I WANNA USE THE COMP FOR ANOTHER 10 HOURS.....' i feel like i am a stupid sis and tat i have been fooled by her.... wat the shit man.... i cannot stand her anymore...... seriously.... am i being too kind...... am i being too stupid...(eh.. mayb i am already stupid..) wat am i supposed to do..... tat dae...(21/04/2005)..my elder sis and youngest sis argued or something lah... all i noe is tat i did not wanna interfere... and i did not wan any scolding as well.... so i went inside my room..(which is the safest and comfortable place especially wen i am down) had my dinner there and watched the TV.... all i noe is tat my mum were already shouting and scolding outside... i realli did not wan to interupt or wat... den.. my younger sis..the sec 2 one...came and asked me to get out..bear in mind tat is my room... i said i did not want...you all go and settle wif mum lah.. i dun noe anyting... guess wat happened next... she said'ENGKAU KLUAR SKARANK.. AKU CKP KLUAR KLUAR LAH....' rude rite... den the next moment... my mum went inside my room... started scolding me... wat did i do??? only god noes... haiz... i got scolding for notin... and my dinner... i didn't finish it.. appetite gone... den i msg my buddy..told him wat happened... he called me.. and consoled me... i feel so embarrased for the fact tat i was crying while talking to him.... haiz..... he is alwayz there for me... thanks so much.... appreciate it lots...
today...(23/04/2005) i am reali quite the whole dae.... i dun talk... and guess wat... i am also being treated as if i am invisible.... haha funny rite.... they all wanna leave the house... they did not even say a single ting to me.... i cannot force them to... but at the mostthey could do is say..'I AM GOING OUT'.... is tat difficult to say.... i can actually count how many words i said today.... haha... if i remain like tis the whole of next 2 weeks... i will be nuts...
got to go liaoz... hope you guys will pray for me tat i will not go nuts at home... and i reali cannot wait for my attatchment to come.. at least i wun see my sis.... see ya ard.. bubbyez
Written by Nurjihan,♥ 7:36 PM
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Author
I can't be you
The name is NurJihan Binte Abdulla.
The Age is 21,was borned on 6March1987.
The patience Nurse.
Contact me @ jihan_five@hotmail.com.
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