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....argh....
Monday, April 18, 2005
ARGH........... i juz feel tat the whole world hates me.... maybe they tink tat i am a burden to them.... i dun blame them... coz i hate myself even... haiz.....
todae... went out wif me couzin and yat... well after a long week of exams and stress... tot tat i wanted a break and relax myself... so they asked me if i wanted to follow them to catch a movie and to go window shopping... so i tot it was a good idea after all.... so ya.... went out quite early... about 7.45...... den took bus 65 and reached heeren at about 9.15 like tat... den followed yat bought the tickets to 'guess who..' and den had breakfast together at BK..... den watched the movie... in the movie theater, i received a msg from my sis telling me tat my mum is angry with me.... i dun noe why lah... but she told me for the fact tat i went out quite early and ya... i tink so... den later i had 5 miss calls.... and guess from who?? my mum... haiz... and not onli tat... i received 2 msgs.... also from my mum.... i have been like onli 4 hours out and i got tis from her..... wat man..... den i called her back... while in the movie... den she ask me wat time i going home... i have not even finish having fun wif my frenz....and she is asking me wat time i am going home.... wateva... i told her tat i am going abt 4 plus...she told me to go home asap... coz she have something urgent and afraid tat she might not have the time to take my youngest sis home... den she ask me where i am... i told her i am in a movie theater... and she sounds unhappi.... i asked her... is it wrong for me to enjoy wif my frenz once in a while?? i feel like i am in a cage... and tat i have to be at home all the time... i reali feel embarrased for the fact tat i have not actually stepped into the esplanade... funny rite.... den wen i reached home... and my parents reached home too... my dad kept on talking abt responsibilities... and tat if u noe how to plan wif ur frenz wen and where to meet to go out and enjoy... you muz also noe how to clean the house...b4 leaving juz now... i remembered wat my mum told me... on the flask and on the rice cooker... i di those things and i also cleaned my room.... i am responsible and i noe wat i have to do... my dad keeps on talking abt tat... i get frustrated coz tis is like onli my first time going out wif my frenz... tinking tat i can enjoy and have fun after a long and tiring week of exams.... he actually implemented some rules and i feel tat it is unfair for me... coz my elder sis and my younger sis had irritate them more den i do... and wen i go out wif my frenz for the first time in tis year...(as in reali go out and enjoy for the whole day)he is angry...my elder sis have actually went out wif her frenz i tink like more den 100 times den me...and wen she goes out wif her fren... she always leave the house in a rush... and nvr does the household chores..(maybe in 100 times.. she only does like 3 times... and tat is also wif my mum nagging...) b4 leaving the house juz now... i actually cleaned my room and remembered wat my mum always reminded me to do... and tat is to switch on the switch for the flask and rice cooker... i did... and they are still not happi wif me... i dun noe wat they wan from me and i dun noe wat i am going to do... all i noe is tat they dun understand wat i wan and they have yet to understand me... they dun noe wat is in my heart...i tried my best to please them... and to please everyone around me... but it seems like i always fail.... y????? am i named 'THE FAILURE??' I JUZ HATE ALL TIS TINGS....
lately... i get stressed very easily and tat i get angry quite easily too... i noe it is bad for my health... but i juz cannot stand it... everyone around me have something against me...argh... tis is so irritating u noe... no one noes wat i want.... and no one understands me... but they expect me to understand them and please them?? all tis sucks...(sowie for my language.,.. but i juz cannot stand it anymore...) lets call it a journal already... i am sick and tired of tis ting... the more i tok abt it... the more i feel like crying.... see ya guys soon... hope tis journal is not boring...
Written By Nurjihan,♥ 7:10 PM
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....argh....
Monday, April 18, 2005
ARGH........... i juz feel tat the whole world hates me.... maybe they tink tat i am a burden to them.... i dun blame them... coz i hate myself even... haiz.....
todae... went out wif me couzin and yat... well after a long week of exams and stress... tot tat i wanted a break and relax myself... so they asked me if i wanted to follow them to catch a movie and to go window shopping... so i tot it was a good idea after all.... so ya.... went out quite early... about 7.45...... den took bus 65 and reached heeren at about 9.15 like tat... den followed yat bought the tickets to 'guess who..' and den had breakfast together at BK..... den watched the movie... in the movie theater, i received a msg from my sis telling me tat my mum is angry with me.... i dun noe why lah... but she told me for the fact tat i went out quite early and ya... i tink so... den later i had 5 miss calls.... and guess from who?? my mum... haiz... and not onli tat... i received 2 msgs.... also from my mum.... i have been like onli 4 hours out and i got tis from her..... wat man..... den i called her back... while in the movie... den she ask me wat time i going home... i have not even finish having fun wif my frenz....and she is asking me wat time i am going home.... wateva... i told her tat i am going abt 4 plus...she told me to go home asap... coz she have something urgent and afraid tat she might not have the time to take my youngest sis home... den she ask me where i am... i told her i am in a movie theater... and she sounds unhappi.... i asked her... is it wrong for me to enjoy wif my frenz once in a while?? i feel like i am in a cage... and tat i have to be at home all the time... i reali feel embarrased for the fact tat i have not actually stepped into the esplanade... funny rite.... den wen i reached home... and my parents reached home too... my dad kept on talking abt responsibilities... and tat if u noe how to plan wif ur frenz wen and where to meet to go out and enjoy... you muz also noe how to clean the house...b4 leaving juz now... i remembered wat my mum told me... on the flask and on the rice cooker... i di those things and i also cleaned my room.... i am responsible and i noe wat i have to do... my dad keeps on talking abt tat... i get frustrated coz tis is like onli my first time going out wif my frenz... tinking tat i can enjoy and have fun after a long and tiring week of exams.... he actually implemented some rules and i feel tat it is unfair for me... coz my elder sis and my younger sis had irritate them more den i do... and wen i go out wif my frenz for the first time in tis year...(as in reali go out and enjoy for the whole day)he is angry...my elder sis have actually went out wif her frenz i tink like more den 100 times den me...and wen she goes out wif her fren... she always leave the house in a rush... and nvr does the household chores..(maybe in 100 times.. she only does like 3 times... and tat is also wif my mum nagging...) b4 leaving the house juz now... i actually cleaned my room and remembered wat my mum always reminded me to do... and tat is to switch on the switch for the flask and rice cooker... i did... and they are still not happi wif me... i dun noe wat they wan from me and i dun noe wat i am going to do... all i noe is tat they dun understand wat i wan and they have yet to understand me... they dun noe wat is in my heart...i tried my best to please them... and to please everyone around me... but it seems like i always fail.... y????? am i named 'THE FAILURE??' I JUZ HATE ALL TIS TINGS....
lately... i get stressed very easily and tat i get angry quite easily too... i noe it is bad for my health... but i juz cannot stand it... everyone around me have something against me...argh... tis is so irritating u noe... no one noes wat i want.... and no one understands me... but they expect me to understand them and please them?? all tis sucks...(sowie for my language.,.. but i juz cannot stand it anymore...) lets call it a journal already... i am sick and tired of tis ting... the more i tok abt it... the more i feel like crying.... see ya guys soon... hope tis journal is not boring...
Written by Nurjihan,♥ 7:10 PM
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Author
I can't be you
The name is NurJihan Binte Abdulla.
The Age is 21,was borned on 6March1987.
The patience Nurse.
Contact me @ jihan_five@hotmail.com.
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